July 13th - July 16

Sunday - July 13, 2008

12pm - Awoke. Met Katya and Nastia at the Red Square for the Formula 1 race. We bought tckts for 2000 rubles, or about 85-90 dollars. Turned out to just be a "show" and not a race at all. We (I) was rather pissed. One real formula 1 race car was there -- I think Nick ... something. 11th in the standings. All the others were just other types of racing -- quite unspectacular. On the bright side, I got to see a Formula One race car, a Moscow race show around the Kremlin, and Drift racers. It was about 85 degrees Fahrenheit, blistering sun, I got burned. The russians thought it was the apocalypse. I sat by Katya on my left & Chris on my right. I flirted with the left. we should have expected the race to only be a show; in moscow, everthing is only for show. fo sho.

5pm - It ended. Went to this Irish pub, official futbol pub. Got the absolute worst steak sandwich of my life. Walked to GUM; now Brett & Acya joined; got creme brulee ice cream-- Katya & I's favorite. Walked to the Moskva Riv. Then to Yolky Palky. Then took Asya home -- but first Katya, we met her parents outside, very nice, father was some Jujitso or Taikido master dressed in a red olympic jumpsuit. google image search russian boxer and that's what he looks like, blonde, blue eyes, 6'4". Ready to kick someone's ass. K. invited us back to her flat another day; We were abruptly uninvited to a flat by a certain other person. Jealously at work.

2am - Bed.

Monday - July 14, 2008

Metro Museum.

Tuesday - July 15, 2008

-Dinner with Tanya and Zoe (both new arrivals from the Pitt abroad program) and their new friend Ryan. We might have scared them with our unabashed Americanism. It's funny to see how we probably were 2 months ago when we first arrived--- mostly just scared out of our minds. Now, we walk and talk with confidence, we know our boundaries.... some would call it arrogance... i like to call it 'getting things done while having fun.' Where else can you scream across a restaurant, "Dyevooska! KLEBBB!" and it be semi-acceptable?

Wednesday - July 16, 2008 - Our 2nd Dacha

Outline -- Masha's Dacha: Boat ride, Ping-Pong, Dinner (twice), Board Games, Arina, Swimming with lightening, Babuska Valeria "Russia USA" fruit cake, One of the best days in Rus

Masha, after ignoring us for 2 weeks, called me out of the blue and asked us to come to her dacha. We called our surgery teacher and canceled class-- we told them we have to go to a girl's dacha-- he said OK. Her dacha is actually a water sport club officially... they had to tell the gov't that so they would be allowed to build their cottage very close to the lake's edge. There are about 10 dachas clumped together. One of the men in this water sport village took us on his inflatable motor boat, one where you sit on the edge, almost falling out. We drove for about 40 mins through this lake, up through some canals and tributaries, and came to a spot where we swam for a bit. The water felt, looked, and tasted surprisingly similar to the Clarion River. But there were russians in this river. We went swimming afterward while dinner was being prepared. Masha wore a g-string, as did all the other girls in the water-sport-dacha-village. Even the older ladies. Sexy. We drank beers, then Masha's mother served us dinner. Chicken, potatoes, russian salad, bread, and something other stuff. Drank wine, champagne. Then played ping pong, and man did Masha school us. I think she beat me 21-2 or something ridiculous. It started raining very hard, thundering and lightening. We went undercover at her dacha. We got out some russian board game but we realized we couldn't play because we couldn't read the russian cards. Arina, a very cute, neighboring twenty-something year old, came over to visit. We decided to just drink and make up our own rules of the game, naturally turning it into a drinking game. And the weather only turned worse.

At one point when I came out of the bathroom, I nearly ran into Masha's father walking in the hallway, and then a loud CRACK! went off, blistering my ear, and Masha's father shouted in broken english, "OY! Hear?! Lightening! Water! CRACK!" I looked at him with wide eyes, and said, "Oy!" he was obviously very excited about the phenomenon of lightening striking a large body of water. As was I, it make a very loud and piercing sound, something I've never heard before.

Anyway we continued drinking, and carrying on for awhile, until Masha's father came over and asked if we could help getting the boat that we were riding earlier out of the lake. Now... it's REALLY raining, thundering and lightening severely, we're naked except for our makeshift swimming trunks, and we're quite tipsy. We run with him around the corner of the dacha to the lake, but we don't see a boat. some older men of the village come walking behind us wearing full rain gear, leading a Jeep that's backing up in reverse with a boat trailer hitched to the back. they back the thing straight into the lake. what the heck?! we quickly realize that the once floating boat has sunken deep into the lake. B, J and I look at each other. Look at the lake. Look at the sky full of lightening. and shake our heads and say/think, "what the hell." despite learning at a young age that it's a terrible idea to be around water when it's lightening, we jump into the water with the other men to help. the men find the sunken boat. somehow pull it onto the trailer. the jeep makes it out of the lake just fine. Masha's mother has come outside and starts yelling something in Russian that would likely translate to, "Boys get out of the water! Quick!" So we did. The boat was safe, and so were we. We laughed our way back to the picnic table.

Later, when we got bored, and the girls have become sufficiently drunk, Masha and Arina wanted to go swimming. The storm had settled by then, but it was still raining a little. You think after our previous adventure into the lake we would have learned... but who would pass up a chance to see two attractive girls in bikini g-strings? Not us. So we agreed. We ran to the lake, it was actually raining a lot harder than we thought. The two girls sprinted into the lake, we walked into the lake a bit more cautiously and then CRACK!, a huge bolt of lightening shot down to the lake. B, J and i all screamed like little girls, and ran as fast as we could to the shore. Meanwhile, the actual girls were giggling, laughing, and splashing water on each other like two toddlers completely unaware of the dangerous situation they've put themselves in. we start yelling "get out of the water! what the heck are you doing?!" the girls give us strange looks like we're being no fun. they grudgingly walk out of the lake slowly while thunder cracks around them. we tried to explain to them that it's really freaking dangerous to swim while it's lightening. i don't think Russians do that whistle, clear the pool thing when a storm comes. just one more factor contributing to the low life expectancy i suppose.

Now, earlier in the day (remember that Masha is our Histology teacher's granddaughter) we make Masha call her grandma, or Babushka. We tell Babushka to come to the Dacha. Babushka obliged surprisingly, anything to please the special American students.; we love it. So we've been expecting Babushka Valeria all day, since about 3pm. But it's now 9pm and she still hasn't showed up. And we have to leave the dacha at about 10pm. Where is she?! Then at about 9:30pm she arrives with her husband, struggling to walk through the rainy and muddy path, carrying like 5 bags of who-knows-what. Turns out, she was late because she had spent the whole day cooking us a huge dinner. She made chicken covered in some sauce, all kinds of fruit, chocolates, 2 kinds of tea she brought, other food i can't remember, and most importantly a Russian fruitcake with "Russia - USA" spelled on the top with berries. It was the most hilarious thing i've seen on a cake, and maybe on anything really. She was so happy to see us, and we were even more happy to see her. We went through multiple rounds of hugs, ate her food, and tried to force her to drink boxed wine. She stole the wine from us, saying we drank too much, and hid it in a cabinet. She scolded Masha for being so drunk, but it didn't seem to bother her that us-guys were intoxicated. I think that we acted more or less intoxicated during histology class so she couldn't tell the difference. Oh yeah, and Masha throughout the whole night started getting closer and closer to me, beginning with an arm around the shoulder, then with a slow dance i initiated, and including secret upper-thigh holds under the picnic table-- the 8th grade style under the lunch-table kind. Oh yeah, she has a really serious boyfriend, from Uzbekistan, the one who break dances, dresses gangsta, said he's planning to buy a gun to protect himself, and would probably kill anyone, literally, if they touched Masha. Despite this threat to my livelihood, my goal was to get one real kiss from her before i left the motherland. And when we separated ways that night, at about midnight on the metro-- I got it. Consider me a dead man.