1. Find a hot Russian wife (shouldn't be hard).
2. Play out various scenes of N64's Goldeneye 007.
3. Introduce myself as Evgeni Malkin, Constantin Stanislavski, or Humbert Humbert.
4. Learn how to introduce myself as Evgeni Malkin, Constantin Stanislavski, or Humbert Humbert.
5. Find Lolita.
6. Get scolded by a babushka.
7. Train with the Muscovite Neo Nazis like that guy did in that documentary. You know what I'm talkin' about...
8. Saw off the antennae of my dorm, the Lomonosov, making the CL the #1 tallest ed. building in the world.
9. Spend a/many night/years in a Russian jail for attempting to drunkenly climb the Lomonosov.
10. Bring back gifts for everybody who comments on my blog!
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6 comments:
i will scan and email you ideas for russian prison tats, just to be realistic.
since i blogged i was a lot of vodka, and a mafiya husband
ohhh yesss i'm a sucker for foreign gifts.
jona, you already have a potential mafia husband in what's-his-name who works at sunoco. beth, you want a russian tank? and i don't mean the military kind.
i love presents Neil!!! :)
Dude, bro. Brother. This all sounds very good. I will be starving and living in a van and you will in the USSR. We're the coolest family ever.
You can follow us at cupyourcake.blogspot.com. (Shameless promotion.)
if you ever get incarcerated for climbing the lomonosov, just say this to the po-po: "Вы пахнете как больная рыба и ваша мать rhinoceros с герпесом." Or just say that you know me.
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